Top definition. Bristol Palin unknown. Usually results in said male being forced into a 'happy marriage' with the victim of Bristol-Palinism to save face , since so many politicians oppose abortion.

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We have had a feeling around here that there was a reason Sarah Palin very conspicuously fell out of the public eye during last year's election. And she was having such fun speaking in tongues at Trump rallies like the town drunk! There was the thing where Todd Palin was badly injured in a snowmobile accident, but "giving Todd's peen one thousand sponge baths" didn't explain her absence. Bristol immaculately conceived again, but "burping Bristol's assorted offspring like a good grandma" didn't explain it either. And there hasn't been any late breaking news about the Palin children starting brawls and Bristol calling everybody a "cunt," because that is sooooo Palin Family We've figured it had more to do with how her son Track was arrested in January for beating up his girlfriend and pulling a gun on her.
The most patient cops in the world released the audio of their interviews from the drunken Palin family throw down last month, and the racial slurs and crying, drunk Bristol Palin aren't even the weirdest parts. When officers questioned Bristol, she told them an "old lady" pushed her sister , setting off the whole melee. I walk back up. A guy comes out of nowhere and pushes me on the ground, takes me by my feet, in my dress—in my thong dress, in front of everybody—"Come on you cunt, get the fuck out of here, come on you slut, get the fuck out of here. When the police officers went to photograph Bristol to document injuries , she reportedly told them, "I don't want my face in a picture right now There's nothing on my face except for beer and makeup.
Bristol said Wednesday she couldn't remain quiet about the fight any longer, writing that she and her family were being treated differently in the media because they are conservatives:. That's the real Vice President's kid… So pause for a moment and consider the hysteria over our stupid "incident", compared to our actual Vice President's son not even being able to hold on to a position in the Navy Reserve. I'm sure you heard the happy news that Chelsea Clinton had a baby. But did you know her father-in-law and Clinton family pal Edward Mezvinsky is a convicted felon because of committing bank, wire, and mail fraud? Of course, you didn't. Because the friends and family of the revered liberal elite are treated like delicate China. Don't handle too roughly.